Etc

So Bonni is still a big pain in the ass. Nothing has changed there.

I'm running again, and trying to loose weight. BUT NOT DIETING. Because that's just too much pressure.

I'm *averting eyes, avoiding people's "looks"* actually enjoying running. I. know. I really can't believe it. I'm running every other day, and walking every other day, and I'm finding that I enjoy the running days better. I'm doing that running thing I was doing last summer, but this time it's much easier... so my body must remember SOMETHING from then.

I'm also not eating after 7 (ish) pm. I'm HUNGRY, but I tell myself that all my "stores" will get used up this way.

I'm also realizing that exercising is more of a mental challenge for me than a physical one. When I'm running and I feel like stopping, I ask myself- does your body or your brain want to stop? And it's usually my brain. What the fuck? All these years I thought my BODY was too out of shape, and here it's my MENTAL STATE that needs some work. Huh.

I don't like to talk about dieting/trying to loose weight/exercising too much with my BrinkandMortar peeps, b/c then I feel as if they are sizing me up all the time, wondering if I'm "sticking with it". Which is why I'm sharing this with you, my apartment sisters.

I'm also starting to think that maybe, just maybe we are done having kids. This is huge. I've never thought this way before.

I'm craving vegetables. I usually like vegetables JUST FINE. But now I'm craving them.